You Won’t Believe What Happened to Me Today

Were you wondering how that spot on NewsChannel 13 Live at Noon went today?  Well, let me tell you.

I’d had a bit of a bumpy start day before yesterday when I went to pick up a prop at Kulak’s Nursery & Landscaping. They’re doing these classes on how to do a miniature or fairy garden, which is a lovely gift idea for Mother’s Day, right? My segment was supposed to be about craft projects and places to go to celebrate Mother’s Day, so when I saw their listing on KidsOutAndAbout.com, I thought: 1) they always have such gorgeous little garden arrangements displayed, and 2) they’re conveniently located between me and J’s gymnastics, and 3) those folks at WNYT love props. So I called to ask, and they said, why yes, they’d be happy to loan me something. Excellent. I arrived to pick it up a few minutes before closing, and here’s what they had prepared for me:

Holy crap. Is that thing adorable or what? It was far more fabulous and elaborate than what I had seen, but of course it makes sense that this is what they’d loan me, because how can you not want to report to Kulak’s immediately, surrender your credit card, and buy out the store with fairy paraphernalia? I mean, who wouldn’t? But I was a little intimidated, especially when they mentioned that they were a little concerned about the box they had to hold it. I put it in the car and headed for home.

And as I pulled out of their driveway, the entire thing flopped over. Dirt everywhere, plants abused. Take a moment, please, to clap your hands, because I totally owe it to the fairy world. I panicked and drove right back. I was mortified, and I wanted to just reassemble it, but I didn’t know how careful they’d been about the design. The actual designer of the garden wasn’t there, but the other folks were very nice and helped me put it back together. I still feel bad because as wonderful as it is, it was even better when I first got it. Here it is, closer up:

I drove home well below the speed limit, clutching the little wheelbarrow whenever I wasn’t actively shifting. Phew.

Afterwards I tried to remind myself not to completely freak out about something like that. I always admire how Deb, my KOA publisher, is super Zen-like when things go wrong. I start spinning like a top and she says, “None of our babies are in the hospital, so life is good. Really, nothing we’re doing is life-or-death.” I, on the other hand, would prefer for things to go perfectly all the time, so I start freaking out about, for example, tennis club. But whatever. I resolved to be more “chill” in future crap-storms.

But the Universe provided me with an opportunity quicker than I expected.

Cut to this morning. After attending J’s “Barnyard Moosical” at school, I headed home to groom myself and lay out my props.

We were going to talk about several crafts, then places to go and do crafts. I set the props on my dining room table and schpieled about them to myself as practice. Along with the vases (I really love the small pastel one), I added Mod Podge and tissues so that I could continue crafting on-camera, and there are a few lovely little charms and a chain from a craft shop, and I added a pair of scissors, because I find that getting the plant out of its pot is often the toughest part for kids. You can see more pictures in the article on KidsOutAndAbout.com. It was getting close to time to go, and after the recent Fairy Tipping Fiasco, I was super-concerned about ensuring that I’d get to the studio safely. So I pulled out extra boxes and cut one carefully to accommodate the wheelbarrow, and then I packed the other cardboard box with all of the other supplies, and I propped them so that the vases wouldn’t clink and the plant wouldn’t topple. I headed out front to the car (we’ve been parking on the street because of the construction), but when I went to put the box in the car, it was hot-like-summer. And I had my pretty plant to worry about, so instead, I set the box down right next to the front passenger door, then went inside to gather up the last of my things (and put on mascara, which you know I hardly ever do)!

When I headed out, gingerly carrying the fairy wheelbarrow, about 5–and definitely less than 10–minutes later, I was slightly ahead of schedule and feeling pretty good.

And then I realized that my other box of props was gone.

Gone.

Not moved.

Gone, like, disappeared.

I yelled. A neighbor asked if everything was okay, and when I told her the problem, she said, “Oh, the garbage truck just came by.”

Alright, so, what are the chances that they would come in that ten-minutes-tops interval? Also, I have placed the soccer ball approximately where the box was for re-enactment purposes. Observe:

Would you automatically assume a box here was trash? Or would you possibly look twice at it, and seeing a lovely vase and a gorgeous plant and a perfectly good pair of scissors and some jewelry, either leave it or ask someone? Because IT WAS NOT TRASH. I suppose it’s possible that someone was “curb shopping,” and I do leave items on my curb for people to claim. But when I do, they’re not hidden by a car and they have a sign that says “Free.” This was not free.

Okay, enough ranting. So, let’s assess the situation. I needed to leave within ten minutes to be on time for a live taping of a segment about crafts and I had no crafts. Time to find my Inner Mellow and, as Cute W says (cutely), “work the problem.”

Vases:  I’ve mentioned that this is a great craft because you probably have leftover vases from flower deliveries cluttering a cabinet. And I did. I still had tissue paper, and I hunted down some Elmer’s to replace the Mod Podge. I threw those in a box.

Jewelry: I ransacked my own and J’s jewelry boxes to look for pieces that were somewhat like what I’d seen at craft stores. I had one small spool of crafting wire. I threw necklaces and wire in a box.

Plant: Okay, I forgot about this, jumped in the car and started the engine, and then I remembered. Showing no mercy to the flora, I dug up a forget-me-not that I’d planted last week, found a presentable pot, and put them together. There was no time to secure it, so the poor thing rolled around in the box for the whole drive.

Then I peeled out, knocking into the garbage can my way. I only realized once I was on the highway that I’d accidentally folded my rear-view mirror in, and I ended up half-blind to the right until I got to a safe spot to stop and fix it.

When I arrived at the studio I told them what happened and started to decoupage the vase right there. There was also an adorable little girl visiting, so of course I had to show her the fairy garden. The staff helped me disassemble my necklaces, and I used what I could.

Then there was breaking news, and my segment was cut down from 3 to 2 minutes! That’s a lot of freaking out for a mere 2 minutes!  Except that I did not freak out. I used this as a personal growth opportunity, found my Inner Serenity, and spent most of the drive to the studio laughing to myself that pulling this off proves that I am Fifty  Shades of Awesome.

And when I was done, I felt even better. I was so flustered that I couldn’t find my camera, so I took a terribly fuzzy photo with my phone, just to prove it all happened. Here’s the prop table with Subrina Dhammi in the background. Except you can’t even see her with all the lights:

 

And it turns out that we’ve got the segment available online, too.