A Documentary Group

Recently my friend and I were talking about how we planned to spend our empty-nester free time, and we both agreed that we liked the idea of a book group, but we just weren’t up for it. She already has a career-related book group going, and my most recent book group had fizzled out in a slow decline of procrastination and apathy. What we needed was a reason to get together and chat with almost zero effort whatsoever. So we decided to try a documentary film group.

The idea was this: get some people together, chat and catch up a bit, watch a documentary together, then talk about it. We weren’t really sure whom to invite, so we opened up Facebook and found our list of mutual friends, then wrote down a list of people who seemed like they’d potentially be into it. We figured it would just get us started, and then people could add or subtract if it actually go rolling. We didn’t think too, too hard about it, but as it happened, the people who ended up at our first meeting didn’t really know each other at all–there were neighbors, a friend from nursery school, friends from PTO. But we bonded quickly when the first pick — let’s be clear, it was my first pick, I take responsibility — included some full frontal nudity and just a smidgen of porn: Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood.

Listen, y’all: it was not my fault. I’d sent out a survey asking for the types of subject matter that appealed to people, whether they wanted heavy-duty subject matter or light and silly, and if they had specific documentaries that they’d especially like to see, and then based on those general ideas (subjects like history and culture, movies that were enlightening but still entertaining, etc.), I came up with four finalists, one of which was a documentary I’d loved, one a documentary my friend had loved, one another friend had recommended, and this wild card that looked interesting, and I sent out yet another survey, including links to the trailers, asking people to vote for their favorites/least favorites. And there was a tie for first place, between Scotty and the Judy Blume documentary, but I knew that one person had already seen Judy and another person had answered in the survey that they weren’t interested in seeing Judy at all. So I decided we could all screen the completely unfamiliar one together.

. . . And at some time during the screening, I shouted to remind everyone that I didn’t know what we were getting into. But then everyone laughed and reassured me that they thought it was a terrific ice breaker, and there were plenty of things to talk about afterward, so I’d say the first meeting was a success.

Since then, we’ve screened:

This was at the suggestion of our volunteer host. Honestly, when she volunteered to host, I was 1) glad, but also 2) concerned that she would raise the bar unnaturally high because her home is beautiful and she’s a fantastic cook. But that’s not her fault.

We had said from the start that no one would have to host or provide refreshments if they didn’t want to do so, because some people like doing that stuff, some don’t particular mind it, and other people find it stressful for one reason or another. And in fact, by, hmm, maybe our third meeting, when there wasn’t an eager volunteer to host the next time, one of our group said tentatively, “Well, I could host. . . .” and I was like, “No. You don’t want to, you said you didn’t want to, and I am happy to host any time, so you don’t need to.” Because, seriously, if nobody minds that some people might have to sit on the floor at my place, I could host it every time. And at least two other people are fine with hosting whenever.

So! I had originally been pushing for Crip Camp, which I think is fantastic, but for the third meeting when I was hosting, I thought we’d been a little male-heavy for our first two films, so I switched to:

And this one was fun, too, and I don’t think that any of us had any idea that the popular 9 to 5 movie was basically conceived as political propaganda. So that was fun.

Then someone shared this list of Netflix documentaries, and from that list, we picked our next movie:

This one was another good one, and really, after every movie, we’ve always had plenty to talk about, and we could basically keep talking, except that we are old ladies who also need our beauty sleep!

And, hmm, I’m not sure what we’re watching next, but the group has been really fun, and it’s been a great chance to hang out with people we hadn’t seen in a while as well as get to know new people as participants invite their friends to join. I highly recommend it as an easy, stress-free way to get together. And if you’re in Niskayuna thinking, “Why didn’t Katie invite me to watch movies with her?” — just consider yourself invited and check in with me and I’ll give you the next date and time.