Pee-yoo

Lest you believe that my life is glamorous and full of spectacular shopping trips in Europe, allow me to acquaint you with the current state of our home.

It smells like cat pee.

Okay, let me preface this by saying that we love our kitties very much. Dave (left) and Ruth (right) are a sweet brother and sister who bring us a lot of joy.

You know: usually.

Lately, though, Mr. Dave has been peeing/spraying in multiple areas of the house. This started last week. There was a smell that was impossible to ignore with a source that was difficult to locate. The process of looking for the source of a stink is a deeply unpleasant one. You wander around, sniffing dramatically, picking up objects and pressing them into your face until you realize that pressing them into your face is a bad idea.

We finally located a source and I did a massive clean-up in the corner of our dining room and really fixed it. Frankly, it wore me out, and I went upstairs and took a little rest, reveling in my triumph. And then, an hour or so later, I went back downstairs, and clearly, there was still a smell.

I located a second source, this time in the living room, and spent more time moving furniture around, laundering curtains and blankets, and wiping, re-wiping, and disinfecting every possible surface. At this point, I felt good about the cleaning that I’d managed to get done, but I could no longer trust my nose. One minute I thought everything was fine, the next I was sure I smelled cat pee somewhere else.

Then Cute W got home and confirmed that yes, it looked like the jam-packed closet by our back door was also a stench source. This was worse than the other corners, since there was so much in there that could potentially get destroyed. A pair of my hiking boots are still hanging outside. Various closet organizers that were already nearing their end begged for a merciful death after this most recent onslaught. Over the last few days, Cute W has probably cleaned the closet about five separate times. Right now, the contents are dispersed around the house. It’s chaos.

We’re afraid to put the closet back together again until there’s a solution. And we’re afraid that we won’t find a solution.

Poor Dave went on a trip to the vet earlier this week, which did not make him happy. As soon as he saw the carrier, he knew that he didn’t want to be anywhere near me, and so it was a battle of wits to catch him (I triumphed with the old close-all-the-doors-upstairs-so-there’s-nowhere-to-hide trick). Then, because he was terrified, he promptly peed in his carrier on the way to the vet’s office.

I am so tired of cat pee.

A urine sample revealed a little infection, although Dave’s bloodwork was fine. We are now giving Dave antibiotics twice a day, which makes him deeply unhappy, but it is going about as well as can be expected. It appears that he’s at least moderated his tremendous output, but he’s not quite back to normal.

I also ordered extra Feliway diffusers, which everyone, including our vet, recommends for a high-stress cat. One of the most common reasons for cats to spray around windows and doors is to mark their territory from other cats or creatures, which seemed like a possible cause, especially now that windows are open. Dave is a scaredy cat, so we’ve ordered these before, but the truth is that I can’t really tell how much of an impact they make, and they are expensive. But at some point while I was waiting for the vet appointment, I’d decided that a bulk purchase of diffuser refills certainly couldn’t hurt. Because a house that doesn’t smell like cat pee is priceless.

Meanwhile, my Facebook account was talking to my Google searches and presented me with an ad for a cleaner that claims to annihilate cat odors, and of course the sponsored post had amazing, gushing comments, so I ordered the special starter pack. Straight from the ad’s link, this “special introductory offer” was considerably less expensive than other options I might normally have used, like Chewy, but if I had understood how much slower the shipping would be, I might have ponied up the extra cash just because, perhaps you’ve heard, a house that doesn’t smell like cat pee is priceless.

At the moment, we’re in a bit of a holding pattern as we take a few more days to dose our little buddy with antibiotics and I await what I am hoping will indeed be a miraculous cleaner. Until then, please send your good thoughts our way, and if your home smells lovely, or even inoffensive, take a moment to inhale deeply and rejoice.