Rainbows are Better Than Snow

Okay, I’m feeling a bit fed up with the snow. I can’t remember if I’ve told you this before, but years and years ago, my toddler nephew thought that I was in charge of precipitation. I don’t know how he got this idea, but I loved it. It made me feel like a goddess.

These days, I’m pretty sure my goddess-named cat, Isis, believes that I’m in charge of this weather. Why else would she pad out over the powder and then turn back and shoot me such resentful looks?

Huh. I don’t know if her bad attitude is fully captured, but trust me, Kitty Be Pissed. Although it can be even worse with rain, when she travels from door to door, hoping that this side of the house will have a better offer than the back did.

But my kids love me, at least! That’s because yesterday, we did one of their favorite things ever. We went to the car wash.

What is it about the car wash? I never go by myself, because my kids find it so entertaining. In fact, M said that after a recent birthday party the mom asked if people minded if they paused to wash the car on the way home, and everyone shouted for joy.

Seriously. M got in the back seat with J because Car Wash Joy simply must be shared with someone as thrilled as you are, not some lame-ass adult who’s too busy fretting about whether or not she remembered to fold the rear-view mirrors in. Is everyone’s family like this? I have to imagine that if your kids aren’t literally shrieking with happiness, you neglected to go premium, because you know, for a couple of extra dollars you can get . . .

Oh-my-gosh, YES! It’s the rainbow wash! It’s thrilling to see it squirted on, it’s sorrowful to see it swooshed away, and as it’s tidied, each of the last little remnants must be identified and celebrated with fervor until. . . Psshhhhhh! . . . they, too, pass out of existence. It’s the circle of life.

Ummm. . . what else? Yesterday I was telling J (again!) that if such a thing as a Daughter Store existed, with models of every possible girl available, I would totally pick out one J and one M. I used to say that from long ago, like, sure, you arrived by accident, but I love your You-ness. But this time, J said, “Mom, that’s creepy.” Whaaat? “Yeah, think about it. It’s actually a really creepy idea.” Okay, yes. Upon consideration, it is creepy. But it had never occurred to me. Or them, back in the olden days. But both of the girls have read Sold, so they’re aware of the issue of human trafficking now.

Man, now I am completely skeeved out. I feel like someone needs to hose me down with some rainbow wash. But I’m afraid to go drive in the snow.